WHEN NO NEWS IS BAD NEWS
The days news headlines shouted out –
There was no earth quake, no tsunami, no landslides or owt.
The CEO’s and Politicians told no lies (rare I know)
Headlines notable for the lack of porkie-pies.
But I heard a man tell a story that had all enthralled.
How he got on the bus and like it was the end of the world
Got off in Moss Side, a connection to make
And this HUGE great big black guy followed him –
No mistake.
He thought he was a gonner
And he started to sweat
Till the guy crossed the road and . . .
Well . . .
Simply went.
He’d not had to phone our wonderful police
His body went limp and he gasped in relief.
When he got to his mates at the end of the lane,
He retold the story . . .
Again . . .
And again.
20 years on he’ll still reminisce
Over the night he survived this scary near miss.
But why is he headlining this cautionary tale?
Telling over and over this ‘story to no avail’.
If the story seems odd –
It’s as it’s missing a punch line,
Nothing happened.
No mugging, no murder, no crime.
In reality the punchline
If there’s anything to tell,
Is one of racist assumptions,
Him being a bell
And acknowledging that racism
Is alive and well.
But they never get to that bit do they.
10/9/2015
20 years or more ago, someone told me a parallel story. It troubled me greatly and I pored over it until I had worked out what was going on. I realised that this is a story about something that did not happen. A story with no punch line. In most peoples eyes, this does not constitute a story. It needs the punchline. The realization of the implications of this persons fears.
I have heard variations on this story many times since, but then, over 20 years after I first heard and dissected the story that isn’t a story, I was shocked to see the original tale on which I based my thoughts written up in a booklet of peoples reminiscences. Over 20 years later, the person is not only still telling this “entertaining anecdote”, they also went so far as to submit it for publication as an amusing anecdote. In writing, there for all to see. Presumably therefore, 20 years on, they have still not got to the punch line. If they had, they might be a bit more sheepish, or at least one would hope.
It appeared under the heading “We still laugh about that one . . . ”
Strangely, if the black guy knew of his starring role, I doubt he would be laughing and neither dear reader am I.
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